


A very evil morning

by Lalelilolu



Category: Original Work
Genre: Internal Thoughts, Writing Sprint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalelilolu/pseuds/Lalelilolu
Summary: A villain reflects as he goes through the steps of his morning routine.
Relationships: Boss & Assistant
Comments: 4





	A very evil morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote in a writing sprint with lovely friends one and a half years ago and I found it on my computer today, so I might as well just post it. I hope y'all enjoy.

„RISE AND SHINE LADS“

A deeply annoyed sound left the tall man’s throat as he tried to stop is alarm. It was bloody early, far too earl, if anyone asked him. But no one ever asked him anything. He was glad, having worked hard and long on getting his evil reputation.

“AND YOU HAVE MUCH TO LEARN STILL”

“Argh, shut the fuck up” he yelled at his phone, trying to atop the alarm, but it didn’t work. How he hated this new technology. They never worked the way he wanted them to. He just threw the phone at the wall, just like every morning, he was sure his evil assistant could get him a new one, just like every morning.

Being a supervillain had many perks, he began to muse. Of course, there was the fact that he wasn’t well liked by the community, because he constantly tried to gain leadership above them or some other shitty reason. They always came up with a new one. Something about him blowing up a city or two. As if that was a real reason, more like an excuse. The US government did it, too and some people still thought they were heroes. It’s not like he particularly cared about them. His job was to make them submit and take over the world and not to make some people love him.

He didn’t need love to rule the world.

Then of course there was the shitty pay compared to the many nights he had to be up, to achieve his goals – everyone knew superheroes were asleep at night, right? It was kind of a fundamental law. Except for that bat-dude but that fellow was strange anyway.

All that aside, the best thing about having the job was having an evil assistant. Man he didn’t know how the many superheroes did it without one – he couldn’t have managed.

Alone that she set out his clothes everyday – well maybe he could do _that_ himself; he wore the same outfit everyday after all.

Being finished with putting on his very evil supervillain suit and the cape that made him about twenty percent cooler, he strut to the kitchen in his evil base.

That’s where the really evil deeps began, not done by himself, no. He would never be able to be as vicious and non-complying as the thrice damned coffee-machine. That thing was Satan’s spawn and he never managed to make it work without the coffee spilling over the pot it was supposed to run into.

The people should hate that thing not him.

He reminded himself that didn’t care about the people

But the lucky bastard he was, he had a super evil assistant, that could make it comply. Hell he didn’t know how she did it but it didn’t really matter, as long as there was a freshly brewed coffee waiting for him every morning.

As he filled his cup with the black liquid he longingly looked at the milk and sugar, having favoured to drink almost white coffee, sweetened to the point it made other’s teeth rot by just watching him drinking it.

Well that was before the job, and the contract clearly said “black coffee as black as your soul” and he wasn’t going to risk losing his job. He needed to live of something, too. But the people would never understand.

Even his own little assistant laughed at him for forcing himself to drink the bitter liquid.

He sighed once before heading into his cave, where he sat at his desk that had a big desktop, that he totally never used to watch sappy romances with his assistant on the clock.

Speaking of his assistant, she was already waiting for him, sitting at her desk, which had a way smaller desktop, to mark her status as _only_ a helper. As if someone could ever mistake her for the boss. Pff. She was only a _woman_. Well, a talented one, and a good looking one, wearing a similar skin tight suit to his in the same colours (he would’ve liked to take a bite out of her but something HR said about ‘sexual assault at the workplace’ always held him back).

Maybe calling her talented was a little low stacked, he wouldn’t know what to do without her. After all the evil systems had changed and had been transferred to computers and modern warfare he really could need help, and help she did with the flashing buttons and lights (he requested her after he blew up those two cities by accident).

Maybe he should give her a raise, to prevent her from leaving him, or worse be her own villain (there has been some news of female villains the last few month…). No he couldn’t risk losing her.

With that thought he started his day sipping the vile liquid, while working on evil plans.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone might ask it could've been inspired by the failed villains from childhood cartoons. Leave a comment with any kind of critique please <3


End file.
